• The Rider and the Reach

    You don’t name a bike until it names you back.

    That’s the rule. At least, it’s supposed to be the rule.

    Not everyone follows it.

    Those who do? They get what they deserve.

    Paint fades, gets chipped or ground off and parts can be replaced, but names?

    Names last.

    Names are forever.

    So, you wait until the machine tells you what it is to be called.

    His didn’t whisper it to him. It didn’t hint, and it didn’t leave clues.

    The first time it happened, the handlebars twitched while it idled, like a horse shivering off a fly. No wind. No passing truck.

    He knew then, but he denied it. That name wasn’t right, wasn’t true, didn’t fit.

    They don’t, always.

    He didn’t accept it. He gripped harder, fought the twitch, asserted ownership, control, dominance.

    He refused the name. Rejected it.

    The second time, it was bolder. More insistent.

    Final.

    The ignition key was still hanging on the pegboard when the engine rolled over in the alley below his apartment, slow and low, like something alive testing its voice.

    When he came down, the headlight was already fixed on him. Not the space around him—him.

    He swung a leg over. The seat was warm, not from sunlight or a recently run engine, but warm in the way of living things. Beneath the leather, he felt a slow, deliberate pulse.

    The throttle didn’t wait for him. The bike inhaled, the revs climbing in a sound closer to satisfaction than combustion. The clutch lever flexed against his fingers as if it were testing him.

    He thought he was steering at first, but the streets bent in ways they never had before. Corners rolled up ahead without warning, traffic lights stayed green long past their cycle. He wasn’t riding. He was being taken.

    It brought him to the dockyards. Empty cranes sagged against the sky, their cables trailing into black water. The air tasted like rust, oil, and something sweeter, something akin to fruit left too long in the sun.

    That was when the cables moved.

    Brake lines split their rubber skins, pale tendrils sliding free and curling around his boots. They pulsed gently, not pulling yet, just being there. More tendrils slipped from the seams in the frame, from the tank, from deep inside the engine casing, warm and faintly slick.

    The headlight dimmed, the beam narrowing to a point over the water. Something stirred beneath the surface—shadows uncoiling, patient and huge.

    The tendrils climbed higher, tightening slightly, in a way that felt more like possession than restraint.

    He felt the answer to the question he didn’t know to ask.

    You’ve been mine longer than you knew.

    One tendril slid up his spine and settled at the base of his skull. He didn’t move. Didn’t fight.

    The headlight went out.

    The water broke.

    Ownership, possession—neither is a one way street.

  • The Golden Boy with Feet of Clay

    He was the golden boy once.

    That’s what they called him. The one who’d “make it.” The one with the bright future, the easy charm, the endless potential. Sun-bleached hair, skin kissed by salt, board under his arm. A bright white grin as wide as the horizon.

    Golden, yes.

    Even then, his feet were clay. He just didn’t know how fast clay cracks when it gets wet.


    The future didn’t come all at once. It crept.

    First it was a degree—because everyone was getting one. Then a job—because everyone said it was a good one. A marriage—because everyone said she was perfect for him. A house. A dog. Kids. A second promotion. A third.

    He was on the fast track.

    Look at him go!

    He told himself he was choosing. That these were steps forward, not downward.

    With each step, something slipped around him.

    Thin, at first. Barely noticeable. A soft coil at his ankle, warm and harmless. But every yes tightened it. Every nod. Every “You’re so lucky.”

    The tentacles grew thick and leaden. By the time he noticed them, they were already wrapped to his waist. Heavy. Certain.

    Inevitable, really.

    He moved slower. Breathed shallower. Learned to smile with the weight on his chest and growing around his belly.

    People clapped him on the back and told him he’d done well.

    He didn’t argue.

    How could he?


    Some nights, after the house goes quiet, he sits in the kitchen with the light off and thinks about leaving.

    Just… leaving.

    Buying a board again. Moving somewhere cheap by the sea. He’s heard of people doing that—vanishing, cutting ties, becoming no one.

    He tries to picture it. Tries to imagine standing on a beach with the sun on his back, board under his arm. Tries to imagine his feet light on the waxed board again, toes gripping, the water lifting him.

    When he closes his eyes, he doesn’t see waves.

    He sees the reasons why not.

    He feels them. The tentacles of obligation.

    Not just weight. Not just drag. They’re ties. Binding, not holding.

    He can feel the pull if he even thinks of loosening them—an almost gentle reminder:

    This is what you built. This is what you wanted. You don’t get to leave what you made.

    They hum that phrase to him in a voice that isn’t quite his own.


    Once, he tried.

    He took a day off work. Drove to the beach. Rented a board.

    The sea was there, right where he’d left it, as patient as ever. He waded in, paddled out. For a moment, he felt… almost right. Almost like he used to be.

    When the first wave rose, perfect and clean, calling to him, he couldn’t rise.

    The tentacles dragged, soft but absolute. His arms burned against their weight. He missed the swell. Missed the next.

    Sat there, puffing and blowing the salt from his lips.

    The water didn’t fight him.

    The ties just pulled, inexorable, drawing him back to shore.

    He didn’t resist.

    He let them lead him, slow as a funeral march, back to the sand.

    Back to the car.

    Back home.


    Sometimes, he dreams of excising them, cutting them away.

    Even in the dreams, when he lifts the blade, they tighten around his wrists, his throat, whispering almost kindly:

    We made you golden. We made you loved. You don’t get to leave us now.

    He wakes with his hands clenched. His chest tight. The weight still there.

    The golden boy with feet of clay, dragged back into the mud he agreed to live in.

    Every morning, he ties the loops tighter himself. A Shelby-Pratt knot around his soul to match the noose around his neck.

  • The Doors Don’t Close; They Breathe

    I wrote that on the kitchen counter. In ketchup first, because I was still pretending to be FINE. Then in something thicker, something that might have been mustard or maybe toothpaste once because I had run out of FINE.

    You think you live in a box, don’t you? Four walls. One door. Two windows. Containment. Lies.

    You live in your flesh armoured bone-mech that your electro-pudding-self pilots and you don’t EVEN KNOW IT.

    Sweet summer child.

    I can see them now. The way the corners pulse if you look long enough. They’ve been watching forever. Tentacles, not always visible—just impressions at first, bruises on the paint where no one touched. Now they’re bold. Curling up through the cracks in the linoleum. Tapping at the glass like polite little fingers that bend in places fingers don’t.

    They talk.

    Oh, do they talk.

    It’s FINE.

    They don’t use words, not really, but you hear it. Like wet whispering inside your teeth. Like a song that hates being sung and fights to be unremembered.

    They keep telling me, “YOU WERE EMPTY TOO LONG.”

    I laughed. Too loud. Scared the neighbors. Emptiness is FINE. Emptiness was comfortable. They keep saying it, keep insisting. Like they’re writing it into me.

    Sucks for them. I’m too full already. No room for words. Full. To the brim. Spilling over at times, onto the floor to sploosh and gurgle and evaporate.

    I’m FINE.


    The mirror was the first to go. Too honest; it knew too much and it kept telling me things. I smashed it with the chair leg I found on the roof. Didn’t stop the reflection, though. Didn’t stop it from watching back. There are tentacles there now too. Writhing behind the cracks like veins in glass. They blink sometimes. They blink at me.

    With no eyes. Still.

    They’re FINE.

    I scratched my answers into the walls. Every surface. Fork, fingernail, teeth when it came to it.

    “I’M NOT AFRAID.”

    “I DIDN’T INVITE YOU.”

    “I DON’T BELONG TO ANYONE.”

    The walls replied.

    Different handwriting, worse grammar:

    “YOU DO. YOU ALWAYS WERE. YOU BELONGED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.”

    I think that was meant to be comforting.

    It’s FINE.

    WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY ELBOWS?


    I tried leaving. Opened the door. But the hallway wasn’t the hallway anymore. It was softer. Breathing. I stepped in and the carpet stuck. Not glue—flesh. Flesh that moved, slow and patient, like it had been waiting for me to stop pretending.

    I didn’t know if I had any pretence left in me.

    It gripped and clung.

    FINE then.

    I closed the door again. Slammed it. It laughed. Not the door—the thing behind it.

    ineedmorewristsmywristshavebeenreplacedbyanklesandidontlikeitnossireeidon’tlikeitonelittlebitidont.

    Now I’m here. Writing this on the floor. My knees ache, but that’s FINE. FINE is over. FINE was always a lie. ineedmorewristsmywrists

    have

    been

    replaced

    byanklesandidontlikeitnossiree

    idon’tlikeitonelittlebitidont. FINE was the untruth that people wanted to hear me say. To mean. To feel.

    I was people once.

    They’re closer tonight. I can feel them sliding up my arms as I scratch these letters in, guiding my hand when it shakes too much. Sometimes I let them. It’s easier that way.

    They smell like salt and old wood and something sweeter, something like forgiveness and ruin and the way old vinyl tastes when you lick the record as it spins.

    I think they love me.

    FINE then.

    Their problem. Not mine.


    One just pressed its tip against my lips. Cold. Patient. Waiting.

    I think it wants me to stop writing.

    I think it wants me to say “yes.”

    You know what? FINE. I might.

    I just might.

    Because doors don’t close. They breathe.

    They’ve been holding their breath for me.

    When they exhale, I’m gone.

    FINE.